Epitaph
by EOlivet
Summary: He should've let go right away.


Disclaimer: The characters described herein are the property of the BBC and...I guess Russell T. Davies (don't know who was the original creator). No copyright infringement is intended.

Timeline: Set during "The Parting of the Ways." MAJOR spoilers for said episode.

Rating: K. Doctor (Nine)/Rose pairing implied.

A/N: I'm still having issues with the aftermath of the finale -- this was written to try and get me through them.

Acknowledgments: To my husband, my fellow fan"girl" and 'shipper, and J. -- without whom I never would've been able to see this wonderful series.

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Epitaph

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He should've let go right away, but he held on instead.

For the first few seconds, it was merely out of instinct -- the (half) human urge to cling in times of crisis. The world was ending once again, and he was protecting her, just as he'd promised.

He was with her, and she was safe -- safe and...warm and soft. Suddenly, it was more than just the burning need for survival. He tasted it on her lips -- not pursed to hold back the pain, but parted to let it in. Together, their lips were aligned, fused -- with life, death and awe flowing through the small space where their breath mixed and mingled for the first...time.

He did not want to let go, not now, not ever -- and in the next few seconds, he wished he'd done this sooner. All those too-quick embraces, all those other times he'd held back as they'd faced death. He'd always justified each one as yet another act of cowardice. But perhaps he'd only been waiting -- waiting for the exact moment, the exact right time.

Except it wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to have done this later -- and done this properly, just as she deserved. Some quiet night on some quiet planet, gazing into her eyes, cupping her cheek -- slow and close, as if they had nothing but time.

This shouldn't have been the first or the last or the never again. They were supposed to be together, but not like this.

For a second, he wondered about pulling away. Leaving a little of that awesome power within her -- maybe if he didn't absorb _all_ of the energy, then perhaps...

Hold back just a little bit, just enough so...

Upgrade her silly human body into something more, more like what she deserved. Then, he could keep her with him, for he could not bear to let her go. There had to be another option, some other choice.

Of course, something else could happen...

The vortex could kill her. He could lose all options, all choices in the matter. If he kept her with him, he could lose her completely -- and she would leave him, against both of their wills.

No. If and when she left, it would be _her_ option, _her_ choice. She'd at least earned that right.

So, in those final seconds, he held on to make sure she would, as well. He could open his eyes and never see her again, but she would see him -- or whatever she chose to, and that was all that mattered. She would see his last day, another day, many more days.

Though he would never see her again, she would always be with him, for he was hers. Others would see her and know her, and probably love her, but she was his one and his only -- the only one that wasn't just a series of remembered images, the only one that he himself had known and loved and saved. Even as she'd done the same for him.

The next would first know her as a memory -- a flesh and blood memory. None would ever be the first to see her, to meet her and fall in love with her. That was his alone, and saving her would be his last memory before he left himself forever in 200,100.

She would be his epitaph -- not any of his past failings. After the vortex had burned him up and his body had dissolved into the stars, the next would know--

_Here lies the Doctor. He saved Rose Tyler for all the world._

The inscription complete, he let himself pull back, as the old, familiar burdens of the war and the world now fell easily from his shoulders. In their place, she sank into his arms -- and as he lowered her, alive, to the ground, he finally allowed himself to let go.

The End.


End file.
